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Most Common Sexual Fantasies & Fetishes and How to Bring Them to Life (Infographic)

This infographic titled 'Most Common Sexual Fantasies & Fetishes and How to Bring Them to Life' has been put together by our team here at Tempt Me Tease Me and highlights some of the most common sexual fantasies and fetishes shared among men and women.

Most common sexual fantasies and fetishes infographic by tempt me tease me Most common sexual fantasies and fetishes - click to see the full infographic

Our deepest desires and fantasies

Everyone has secret desires and fantasies. Whether you’re in an exclusive relationship or not, you will most likely find that your fantasies are shared. Here in the UK, we have a somewhat reserved attitude when it comes to expressing our innermost sexual fantasies, especially when compared to other countries around the world.

The 10 most popular sexual fantasies

A report from The Independent titled ‘How common is your sexual fantasy?’ attempted to explore in depth a wide range of sexual fantasies among men and women, and looked at 55 different desires; asking the participants of the survey to both rank them as well as listing which was their most desired. The study was conducted not only to show which fantasies men and women desire, but also to break down the outdated view that fantasies are abnormal and should be kept secret. Here at Tempt Me Tease Me we’ve looked at what the most common types of sexual fantasies are among men and women, and what this means for you and your sexual relationship. The below data provides some of the most common examples:

Item female male
Atmosphere and location are important in my sexual fantasies 86.4 81.2
Being dominated sexually 64.6 53.3
Being forced to have sex 28.9 30.7
Being masturbated by my partner 71.4 71.7
Being photographed or filmed during a sexual relationship 31.9 43.9
Being spanked or whipped to obtain sexual pleasure 36.3 28.5
Being tied up by someone in order to obtain sexual pleasure 52.1 46.2
Dominating someone sexually 46.7 59.6
Giving cunnilingus 35.7 78.1
Having anal sex 32.5 64.2
Having sex with a star or a well-known person 51.7 61.9

As many of you may have noticed, being restrained or dominated is the overwhelming winner in terms of sexual fantasies!

Other common fantasies

Item female male
Forcing someone to have sex 10.8 22
Giving fellatio 72.1 26.8
Having a sexual relationship with a woman with very small breasts 10.8 52.3
Having homosexual (or gay) sex 36.9 20.6
Having interracial sex 27.5 61.2
Having sex in an unusual place 81.7 82.3
Having sex with a fetish or non-sexual object 26.3 27.8
Having sex with a prostitute or a stripper 12.5 39.5
Having sex with a woman with very large breasts 18.6 68.6

For more information please visit: http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/how-common-is-your-sexual-fantasy-9835480.html

What do these fantasies mean?

As the above data shows, we all have daydreams, fantasies and desires, whether we like to admit it or not. Some people are very open about what turns them on, while others are ashamed of their fantasies, or made to feel ashamed because of the way society looks down upon slightly wilder fantasies, and so stay quiet (and unhappy!). Lets explore what some of these fantasies actually mean.

The perfect, romantic lover

This may surprise you, but many of the top ranking fantasies involved some kind of romance or passion. These were:

  • Feeling romantic during a sexual relationship (92.2 per cent of females & 88.3 per cent of males)
  • Sexually appropriate atmospheres and locations (86.4 per cent of females & 81.2 per cent of males)
  • Having sex in a romantic location (84.9 per cent of females and 78.4 per cent of males)

Feeling romantic during a sexual relationship was the highest ranking of all the 55 sexual fantasies, with the following two coming not far behind. Is this what you desire the most and if so what does that mean for your relationship?

Just because feeling romantic may be a little more tame than being tied up, it’s still a sexual fantasy, and it simply means that you’re after passion, attraction and a deep level of emotion in your sexual relationships. Even then, this passion can still come from slightly wilder acts such as domination or submission.

Generally, you’re after connection, whether this is from a partner you’ve known all your life or a simple one night stand with a stranger. It doesn’t matter who it is, you just want to find this person irresistibly attractive and satisfying.

Maybe you want something simple like kissing, or maybe you want full-blown intercourse in every position possible. It’s not unusual to fantasise about this with a complete stranger, but many will find themselves fantasising about their partner more often than not in a certain way; whether the partner is actually like this or not. We’d recommend being open with your partner about what you feel is turning you on, so you can be sure to get that connection that you’re after.

Three’s a crowd

Having sex with multiple people, whether men only, women only or a mixture of the two, also featured highly in the report. It showed that with these results:

  • Having sex with two women (36.9 per cent of females and 84.5 per cent of males)
  • Having sex with more than three people, all women (24.7 per cent of females and 75.3 per cent of males)
  • Having sex with more than three people, both men and women (56.5 per cent of females and 15.8 per cent of males)
  • Having sex with two men (30.9 per cent of females and 45.2 per cent of males)

The logic behind this one seems obvious; double the pleasure double the fun! Threesomes or orgies are popular common fantasies, especially among men. Generally, men prefer having a threesome with two females, but as can be seen a high number of males also desire to have sex with two men.

This may involve your partner and another person, or a complete bunch of strangers. We’ve found that many people enjoy watching their partner being had by another individual for varying reasons. Fantasies are about keeping your sex life interesting, and what better way of keeping it interesting than having sex with multiple people, all of whom could bring something new to the table?

Domination and submission

Here at Tempt Me Tease Me we can easily say that domination and submission products are some of the most common that we sell, and it featured heavily as one of the most common types of sexual fantasy. These fantasies were:

  • Being dominated sexually (64.6 per cent of females and 53.3 per cent of males)
  • Being forced to have sex (28.9 per cent of females and 30.7 per cent of males)
  • Being spanked or whipped (36.3 per cent of females and 28.5 per cent of males)
  • Being tied up (52.1 per cent of females and 46.2 per cent of males)
  • Dominating someone sexually (46.7 per cent of females and 59.6 per cent of males)
  • Tying someone else up (41.7 per cent of females and 48.4 per cent of males)
  • Spanking or whipping someone else (23.8 per cent of females and 43.5 per cent of males)
  • Forcing someone else to have sex (10.8 per cent of females and 22 per cent of males)

As you can see, there’s a huge variety of fantasies when it comes to BDSM, and generally they all rank highly on the report’s list. Domination and submission, although it may sound aggressive, can be anything from taking control slowly and romantically, through to crude and dangerous fantasies (which we don’t necessarily condone!).

It may or may not even involve sexual intercourse, and domination and submission are things that feature heavily in our everyday lives. Many people have power trips or dreams of being successful, earning the big bucks and rising to the top of the food chain, so it’s no surprise that this can be reflected in the bedroom.

People enjoy power, especially in fantasy where the imagination is limitless. Sex is an extremely emotion-invoking thought, topic and act and fantasising about taking control of someone you are sexually attracted to creates an incomparable desire.

Domination is generally seen as something that men desire, while females desire submission, which is reflected in the report’s results, but more and more women are beginning to say that they prefer it the other way around.

However, submission is still an incredibly popular act in its own right, and domination, although tied in with power, doesn’t necessarily mean than the dominator is stronger. Some people enjoy submission; perhaps they are so in control in all other areas of their life that they like giving it all up for a brief period. They do away with the pressure of success that society seems so intent on reminding us of, and allow themselves to be completely free. Besides, people can still get exactly what they want through submission.

Showing off

Last but by no means least is exhibitionism and voyeurism. This was another fantasy that featured highly on people’s list, with:

  • Watching two women make love (42.4 per cent of females and 82.1 per cent of males)
  • Watching someone undress without him or her knowing (31.8 per cent of females and 63.4 per cent of males)
  • Being photographed or filmed during sex (31.9 per cent of females and 43.9 per cent of males)
  • Watching two men make love (19.3 per cent of females and 16.2 per cent of males)
  • Showing yourself naked or partially naked in a public place (16.6 per cent of females and 23.2 per cent of males)

Whether you’re a vocal exhibitionist or a physical one, and whether you like to watch or to show it all off, exhibitionism and voyeurism feature highly on the list. It’s about the thrill of gazing or being gazed upon, breaking the typical taboo that sexual activity need to be private. This is why the porn industry is so successful, and it seems that being open about sexual activity and sexual desire is becoming more and more acceptable in the 21st century.

Summary

The deep, intimate and all-revealing nature of sex in some ways defines exactly who we are, but then on the flip-side don’t define us in any way at all. Of the study conducted that was published in the journal, 30 - 60 per cent of woman said that although they had fantasies of submission, they never actually wanted them to come true. Although we can let our minds runaway sometimes, it’s worth noting what keeps popping up in your head. If you’re having recurring fantasies, it’s worth giving it a try and seeing if it’s for you… don’t know it ‘till you’ve tried it!

Our full infographic

Here at Tempt Me Tease me we’ve put together this handy little infographic on ten of the most common sexual fantasies, along with some hints and tips on what to do and where to go, as well as some awesome products we stock that can help you to get your sex life exactly where you want it, so you can stop worrying about whether you’re coming or going when it comes to your sexual activity. Enjoy!

Most common sexual fantasies and fetishes infographic by tempt me tease me Most common sexual fantasies and fetishes infographic

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We really hope you’ve enjoyed this infographic and find something from the ideas provided by Tempt Me Tease Me to help bring your sexual fantasies to life.

Please note that the content of this infographic is intended strictly for consenting adults over 18s. The data comes from external sources and does not express or imply any views of Tempt Me Tease Me.

Sources: